On the journey of self-discovery and leadership, we often face twists and turns, unexpected challenges, and valuable insights. In my second week of the leadership course with Amongst Queens, we dived into a riveting discussion on a topic we all face but rarely address—vices.
Those subtle influences that hinder our true potential, silently exercising their power over us, keeping us in our comfort zones, and slowly draining our energy.
One profound lesson from our discussion this week was the idea that to truly unlock our potential as women and leaders, we need to let go of the little girl within us who allows vices to hold power over us. A “true queen has absolute dominion over her queendom”, both inside and out. To serve others in the best way, we need to let go of whatever's holding us back. Our radiance is a gift that we share with the world.
My Nemesis: Submission
As for my own nemesis, it's submission. This habit has played a significant role in my life lately. It entails allowing others to call the shots, letting others dictate my actions and emotions, diminishing my self-worth. I've become a pushover, often failing to stand up for my beliefs and not fully embracing my role as a leader.
Sharing this realisation isn't easy, but it's essential. As a dance teacher and leader, my goal is to earn respect and be taken seriously. While submission isn't inherently negative, it should be reserved for those who've genuinely earned it, such as a partner in a meaningful relationship.
Confronting this vice was a pivotal moment in my personal growth journey, representing a significant step toward evolving my character. I'm wholeheartedly committed to addressing it head-on. For the next seven weeks of this course, I've been asked to make a pact with myself: should I falter and allow submission or a lack of assertiveness to prevail, I’m required to come up with a self-inflicted punishment, such as running 5 kilometres or even shaving my head. Frankly, who would enjoy that? (Certainly not me.)
However, the idea of this self-inflicted punishment didn't sit right with me. While I understand the concept's intention – to keep us conscious of our actions – I've found that when I acknowledge my slip-ups, I tend to engage in self-sabotage. I already experience a sense of self-imposed punishment in those moments, as I reflect on and recognise my mistakes. Instead of obliging myself to do something I'd rather avoid, I believe it's more constructive to approach it with grace and take meaningful steps to move forward.
As my journey continues, I'm eager to face the challenges and transformations that lie ahead. By confronting my vices, particularly submission, I'm paving the way to become a more empowered and authentic version of myself, ready to embrace my queendom and lead with unwavering confidence.
A Question for you:
I'll leave you with a question: What are your vices? What's currently holding you back? Is it the age-old foe, procrastination? Perhaps it's something more personal, like dishonesty. Whatever it is, acknowledging it is the first step towards making a change. For instance, if you're battling procrastination and you're determined to break free, create a personal motto. A friend of mine swears by "no matter what" and applies it to all her aspirations, declaring, "I'm going to create that business, no matter what." So, remember, live your life the way you want your story to be told.